Confusing Nature
by Leonora T
Summary: It was then when Cait Sith came to the conclusion that humans were very confusing creatures.
1. Chapter 1

_A real short story, not beta read. A new chapter of Two Of A Kind should be up fairly soon._

**Confusing Nature **

"Ye sent for me, boss?" The tiny robotic cat announced himself as he quietly shut Reeve's office door with his glove clad paw.

"Hmh? Oh yes!" The man had forgotten he had even summoned the feline. "Where were you?" Reeve asked curiously as he looked in his desk for a folder.

"I was at home, charging up." Cait Sith explained, animatedly twirling his crown on his finger to show Reeve his new boost of energy.

"I charged you the other day." The man replied a matter-of-factly as he pulled out a small brown folder with the letters WRO IV on them.

"I thought I'd give the chasing mice a try. Real cats seem to fancy it. Wore my poor gizmobobs down trying to catch those seedy things!" Quickly changing the subject, Cait pointed at the folder with interest. "Never seen that one before."

"Its new." Reeve stated simply. "I have a mission for you Cait." He skimmed through the papers in the folder until he found the particular sheet he was looking for. Removing it from the others he handed the paper to his animatronic companion. "There has been stories flying around of an anti WRO organization near Kalm." He watched as the amber eyes read each line of the report at an amazing speed. "Supposedly, they are people who had ties with old Shinra."

"Rufus?"

Reeve shook his head. "No. I'm nearly certain that if this group does exist, Rufus has nothing to do with it. He's far to involved in WRO and has a lot of things riding on this company." Clasping his hands together Reeve leaned back in his leather chair. "It could just be a rumor, we've had a fair share of them." Cait Sith nodded. "But I'd rather be safe then sorry. I want you to go to Kalm and see what you can find. Store all findings on your harddrive, even ones that you deem miscellaneous."

Giving his master a military salute, Cait turned on his heel before suddenly remembering something and turned back to face Reeve. "May I ask ye something boss?" The cat asked hesitantly which immediately peeked Reeve's interest. One thing Cait Sith wasn't was hesitant.

"Yes..."

Placing a hand on his chin and twitching his tail a bit the robot gathered his jumbled thoughts. "I know I am nothing but a bunch of wires and circuits," he began "But ye gave me a sharp mind and tools to compensate so I've been able to learn a lot of things." Reeve listened intently but his eyes wondered to his computer. "And so I study things. Things I don't have to. I read, I watch and I listen. I know about the flora and the fauna but out of all my studies ye humans are the most confusing creatures..."

"Cait, is this going anywhere? I have work to do."

"Ah, of course boss." Cait Sith nodded in agreement as he tried to speed up his thought process to a more direct way of putting this. "Why do you wish to produce offspring with that ninja lassie?"

Eyes that were glued to his computer screen quickly shot up and looked at the small cat before him. "What?" Reeve asked dumbly.

"I asked ye why did ye wish to produce offspring with Yuffie." Cait repeated simply and after thought added, "I've seen a lot of mating rituals performed by other species, but I never knew the human one consisted of name calling, punching and pranks." Cait rewound the playful interaction that Reeve and Yuffie had shared for some years now.

"Cait-"

"Being nothing but wires and not understanding the human mating acceptance ritual," Cait continued. "you can imagine how surprised I was to see you mounting the ninja." If Reeve had been drinking he would have surely done a spit take at the robot's words. "And I must say you humans have peculiar way of mating as well, a lot different from the other animals, eh?" He asked innocently staring up at his boss. "But you are just like all the other beasties, you want to carry on your genes as well." Rarely in his life was Reeve Tuesti embarrassed. Naturally this was a rare occasion. He felt his cheeks get hot but hoped his companion wouldn't notice. "Are ye sick, boss? Ye look like ye are burning up with a fever!"

Shaking his head Reeve rose from his chair and walked over to Cait Sith, nudging him towards the door with his foot. After opening the door and before pushing Cait Sith out, he looked down at his creation, "When you come back from your mission I'll have a data file ready for you explaining the difference between us humans and the 'beasties' and you are never to talk to me about such a thing again." And with that, without waiting for a response, Reeve gently kicked him out of his office and promptly shut his door.

_Thanks for reading! Please review_

_Leo _


	2. Chapter 2

_I've decided this will be a little mini series, so enjoy. Once again big thanks to my beta reader, Don'tCallMeBones. Thanks for putting up with my crazy ass stories_

**Confusing Nature**

If one were to look up the definition of the word 'mathematics' they'd find the very neat and straight cut definition 'the systematic treatment of magnitude, relationships between figures and forms, and relations between quantities expressed symbolically'. Yuffie was tempted to call Merriam-Webster and demand they change the definition to 'A menace to mankind; the sure undoing of Gaia and eternal foe to sexy Ninja Princesses everywhere.' That definition would be much more accurate.

With a sigh of disappointment, Yuffie grabbed the sheet of paper, crumbling it in frustration. She went to look for Reeve, who was no doubt lounging about, watching something about robotics on TV. After searching the house twice over with no sign of Reeve, Yuffie began to get nervous. It was unlike him to leave without even saying goodbye. As she pulled out her cell phone to call Reeve, she heard a familiar voice. "Hiya lass!" She turned around to face the small robotic cat. It wasn't who she was looking for, but she supposed he'd do.

"Where is Reeve?" she asked bluntly, not even bothering to say a greeting to the robot she hadn't seen in nearly a week due to a little stunt she'd pulled involving Cait and a bathtub.

Shrugging off her rudeness, Cait scratched his ear in a gesture he'd seen real cats do; only this bipedal cat did it with his 'hand'. "Ye shot my memory card!" he explained, turning around to show Yuffie the empty slot in the back of his head. "He went to get me another one. Did ye not know water plus electronics are bad lassie?" the robot asked seriously only to receive a few giggles from Yuffie.

"Did ye not know touching my materia is bad for anyone?" she mocked his accent. "Doesn't matter though. I knew your dad would fix you." She found it both amusing and charming that Reeve treated Cait Sith much like his own child. He'd probably be a good father one day. "Hey. You're really smart, right?" Yuffie grinned.

"I've got a modesty chip installed," Cait said with his head held high before a small grin spread across his white muzzle. "But yes, I fancy I am."

Smiling brightly, Yuffie picked the robot up by its tail much to the dismay and complains of Cait Sith himself. "Good 'cause I need help," she finally spoke as she roughly set the robot on the kitchen table and took a seat herself. She revealed to him a wrinkled piece of notebook paper with math equations written on them. "Help cat."

Peering down at the paper for a millisecond, absorbing all of the numerals and symbols, he turned to look at Yuffie with a puzzled look. "Ye're in school?" he questioned with interest. A part of him commended the young ninja if she had indeed entered college. She could better herself as a person and as a future ruler of a nation...and of course he wouldn't have to be worried about being thrown in bathtubs as often.

"Phsha," Yuffie laughed, heartily amused by Cait Sith's question. "As if!" she exclaimed. "This is Denzel's math homework."

"Yet ye have it..."

"It was a trade," she informed him. "I'd do his homework for a second level ice materia. Seemed like a fair trade at the time. I, of course forgot one very important fact."

"And that fact is?"

"I have and always will be, horrible at math!" Yuffie slouched in her chair in defeat before turning hopeful gray eyes to Cait Sith; silently praying he could help her.

"I could help..." A smile broke onto Yuffie's face. "But I won't do it for ye." The smile vanished.

"CAAIIT!" Yuffie whined as she griped her pencil tightly, fighting the urge to stab him in the robotic eye.

"Math isn't all that hard," he sounded like Reeve when he denounced her struggles as being not nearly as hard as she made them out to be.

Rolling her eyes the ninja responded sourly, "Of course it's not that hard...to a walking, talking computer."

"Is not hard lassie!" The tuxedo cat insisted. "Ye use it every day in many different things!"

He noted Yuffie's curious gaze. "Like?"

"Like..." His right ear twitched a bit as he searched his memory bank for something to say when suddenly a recent memory file came to mind. Recalling what he had heard several adolescents say on a subway the other day, he said evenly in a very serious voice. "Like sex! Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!"

Cait Sith couldn't understand why for the life for him Yuffie was hysterically laughing.

_Lol...don't ask_

_Leo_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, first off I'd like to thank MedliR for proofreading for me. Big thanks to her! Oh, and thanks to her for giving me the 'lock doors' idea with one of her stories. Also I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to my beta reader, Don'tCallMeBones. I've heard through the grapevine one of her family members was having a hard time so this is for her. Hopefully everything will be just peachy very soon! Enough with talk and on with the story._

* * *

**Confusing Nature  
**

"No it's not alright!" the woman shrieked as she entered the door. She whipped around to face the man who followed her. "That was the most embarrassing experience of my entire LIFE!" she wailed.

"Come on Yuffie, it wasn't that bad." Reeve tried to soothe his jilted lover as he locked the door, purposely keeping out a certain puzzled robot.

"Reeve...you have to be freaking kiddin' me!?" She couldn't understand why her cheeks where stained beet red while he seemed well-composed and unaffected.

"You've overreacting," the man stated simply as he ran a hand through his jostled hair. If he was truly ruffled at all by what had just happened, he was doing a good job of not showing it, unlike his flushed lover.

"I'm overreacting!?" she amped up the dramatics. "Do you know what just happened?!" She pointed towards the open window where a black and white robot cat was peering in with a befuddled expression on his face.

Reeve swiftly walked over and pulled the blinds, causing a mew of distress from Cait Sith. Ignoring his creation, Reeve turned to look at Yuffie. "I know what happened, dear, but tell me, what is the good in/of getting flustered over it? It's done now."

Logic was nice, but logic didn't apply to Yuffie when she was embarrassed beyond belief. "Reeve, I'll never be able to look at Cait Sith again." She covered her heated cheeks with her hands. "I just won't be able to," she muttered.

"Yuffie, you have to remember. He's nothing but a robot. He's not a person."

"Says the man who treats him like he's his brother or something..."

Realizing this situation wasn't going to get any better, and hearing a Scottish accent calling him from outside, Reeve relented. "Fine, I'll delete some of his memory." He sighed deeply. It would take a while to permanently delete anything Cait Sith had on his hard drive, and with no specific deletion parameters available, Reeve would have to delete everything Cait had stored within the last 24 hours. He would lose a lot of data.

Yuffie let out a sigh as well, but hers was a sigh of relief, not frustration. "Thanks Reeve. I appreciate it." She placed her tiny hand on his shoulder and gave him a small smile, which he half-heartedly returned.

--

"What be the problem, boss?" the robotic feline asked as he jumped on the table. "Do ye have something new for me?" Cait glanced over at the tools and wires that sat just to his Reeve's left. Reeve must have been planning to give him an update.

"No. I'm deleting some memory."

"Deletin' me memory!?" Cait Sith wailed, in a fashion much akin to Yuffie.

"Just a bit. Memory data you have stored within the last 24 hours."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because Yuffie would like me to."

"Ah...the lass!" Cait Sith finally understood the situation. Though he wasn't ecstatic about losing some of his memory, it would be well worth the loss of the imagery he'd witnessed earlier that day, and that was now embedded on his hard drive. "I thought the vehicle was malfunctioning."

Reeve said nothing. "With the way it was bouncing up and down like that," Cait Sith continued, "I thought ye two were trapped inside. I was coming to rescue ye." Reeve gave his robot a peculiar look, but still didn't speak. "Next time ye two do that...do me poor circuits a favor and lock the car door."

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_Thanks please review!_

_Leo_


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